Dattebayo Announces Process Changes
2008/04/17
Dattebayo is announcing today that it will abandon its high-efficiency 18-hour fansubbing process in favor of a more traditional fansubbing model. This is being done so that we can deliver a product more in line with fan expectations, as well as to better allow other subbing groups to compete with us, something no one has been able to for the past 3 years.
You, as the fans, are entitled to information about every detail of the way we work. This revised process will have major impacts on upcoming releases so we here at Dattebayo want to keep you informed.
Are you dissatisfied with the quality of our raws? Rather than working directly with our own raw files, as we do now, we will begin getting raws off Winny and Share, which will automatically add 14 hours to the fansubbing process. "This change will really help us to ensure we are using the same raws as everyone else, and thus make things much more fair. Also, fans will benefit because all our releases will look the same as everyone else's, with the same over-sharpened over-smoothed filtering that everyone loves. Detail sucks!" said Process Design Manager Interactii.
Being that Dattebayo has had one of the longest and most stable translation staffs in fansubbing history, we figure some major changes are needed. Rather than keeping the same reliable translation staff we have been using for the last two years, we will bring on a series of barely competent semi-skilled translators who will produce pseudo-English scripts. These translators will ensure that we can't possibly release within 24 hours of airing and also will add an exciting randomness factor to the process, which could delay releases from hours to years (for more information see Rice-Box's Melody Of Oblivion 24-25, which has been in QC for more than 2 years).
"Trolled" is something many of our fans hate to be, so rather than having any fun by releasing trolls, Dattebayo will only be serious and will never have any fun with the people who pay nothing donate graciously to our cause.
Timing will still take place as normal, but rather than use older tools to which everyone is accustomed, we will use trendy new timing programs that are difficult to learn and will be unsupported within the month (if they aren't already). Why keep using it if it ain't broke? This will frustrate timers, and will in turn cause them to quit, guaranteeing additional delays as we struggle to find timers who are willing get the job done. Since these new timers are bound to have little experience, Dattebayo will adopt the "two-tier" timing scheme that is popular in some more modern and progressive groups. There will be "rough timing" and "fine timing". This added layer will ensure as many staff as possible touch the script and practically guarantees additional time will be added to the process.
Editing will be performed entirely by Frenchmen. This change alone should introduce sufficient errors to create the need for the QC Department, which I will describe below.
Dattebayo will also stop using ASS-based typesetting and instead change to After Effects-based work. This will not only add a layer of complexity to encoding but will assure that we will have a difficult time filling the position of typesetter. To this end, we will simply hire people who have heard of the application rather than those with any actual experience.
Encoding is an area that there has been a lot of controversy in lately, so we are making some big changes we hope will make everyone happy. First, rather than doing a single release of a show, we will release multiple versions. Even though one of the main goals of these changes is to allow other groups to compete more easily, Dattebayo feels it must still offer something unique. We were originally considering four separate releases, but discovered that there are groups that already do this, so we are going for 8, as follows: XVID AVI MP3, XVID MKV OGG, H264 AVI Widescreen MP3, H264 MKV Widescreen ACC, HD H264 VFR MKV Widescreen ACC, HD XVID VFR AVI (120fps) Widescreen OGG, MP4 Iphone Ready, and an FLV Streaming Offering. The massive number of formats will be sure to please everyone, and if it doesn't, we can always add more! Each format has to be encoded separately and since we all have no lives, it's no problem for us to do it. We will also be firing timecop, because he clearly has no idea what he is doing, at all.
Dattebayo is also happy to introduce a new QC process. Dattebayo does not currently have a formal QC process, but with the introduction of this new procedure we can not only add a lot of time to the subbing process, but correct minor errors as part of our ongoing quest for the complete perfection that the vast majority of our hundreds of thousands of fans couldn't care less about. Each of the 8 versions of the show will be submitted to our newly formed QC staff, who will then make notes on the encodes and submit them back to each prior staff member for correction, because QC staff can't do corrections on scripts, of course. Training our QC staff to correct minor errors themselves would save valuable time, something we would like to avoid at all costs. Therefore we will require our QC staff to get back in contact with all of the staff who thought they were done with the episode and have therefore moved on with their lives. Optimally, the staff required to make the minor script corrections will have quit the group while the release was being worked on by another staff member, and the new staff hired to replace them will decide to just redo the whole thing because they don't like how the previous person did it. This will create a near-infinite loop from which the probability for exit is very small.
To oversee the new process and assure that everything goes smoothly, Dattebayo will hire project managers. These new staff members will have no fansubbing skills whatsoever, but will know how to type in caps and send PMs on IRC, as well as be able find staff e-mail addresses and send abrupt, annoying messages. They will attempt to drive the project forward however possible, and in order to compensate them for their complete lack of skill and usefulness, they will get first billing in the staff credits (which, incidentally will be larger than ever before). Additionally we will hire staff to design really ugly karaoke that takes up at least half of the screen, is very complex, and takes a very long time to render. We will either render it once and use it over and over (regardless of any minor changes in the OP) or we will just add more time to the encoding process.
To cap off the process, episodes will no longer be released on our stable, reliable tracker, but will instead be put on fly-by-night sites that might be around for a couple of weeks (if you are lucky). We will establish a distro team to help seed releases, since timecop is fired and we can't use him to do it. Besides, there will be 8 times as many releases to seed. To do this, we will bring on a large group of people who have hacked into other peoples' computers so they can seed or run bots. These bots will all be slow by design, and the torrents will also be slow and unreliable thanks to the various, failing trackers. Also, in the interest of fairness, we will also release our scripts to anyone who asks for them. Just ask interactii on irc.animenfo.com, but you can also just extract them from the MKVs.
In order to bring us into line with standard fansubbing practice, we will start accepting donations and offer premium download services for as little as 30 cents per megabyte. We will then use the donations to go on vacations and eat at expensive restaurants. Dattebayo also plans to open a poorly moderated forum in the near future, and add blogs for individual staff members to convey their feelings about politics and other things no one cares about.
With all these changes we think that Dattebayo will be able to operate as everyone seems to think we should, and thus everyone will be happy. Long live Dattebayo!